he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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