Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
