i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize