She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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