i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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