Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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