I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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