I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
