He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
