Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
