found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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