The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
