just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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