I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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