I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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