I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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