is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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