Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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