dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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