Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
