what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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