k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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