can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
