I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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