I must be too annoying 4 u.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
