Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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