Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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