I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
