In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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