Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
