two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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