You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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