The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
