I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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