If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
