My cat gives me a boner
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need water and some morals
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