Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
