I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
