I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize