I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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