Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
