I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
