i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
