I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize