my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
