Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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