drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
