Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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