I'm jealous of your bromance
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
