bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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