I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
