Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
