I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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