I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
