Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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