Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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