I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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