You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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