I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
