if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
