are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
