Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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