well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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