If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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