If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
