Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
